Believe it or not, there was a time in my life when the idea of
paradise was completely unappealing to me. I was actually frightened by
it!
I was a child then, probably not quite ten years
old, and I refused to talk or think about life in the New World. My
parents carefully avoided the subject during our Family Worship evening,
instead focusing on things that were practical at the time to help me
get through pressure at school, the stress of moving and finding new
friends, and avoiding problems common to preteens. But no paradise. No
talk of the resurrection. Even chatting about playing with animals in a
worldwide garden was off limits. My parents were discerning and
sensitive about the issue, and it paid off.
Looking
back now, I realize how silly I must have seemed, but I still remember
clearly my anxiety. At its core, it was a fear of the unknown. I didn't
want to live forever. The mere concept of eternity was perplexing and
overwhelming to me.
Around that same time, I remember
hearing a brother give a talk about the meaning of "forever". He asked
the audience to imagine a seagull picking up a grain of rice in its beak
every hundred years and dropping it into the ocean. "How long would it
take for the ocean to be filled?" he asked. "That's still just a
fraction of the meaning of forever."
As a kid, that
mental image was terrifying! I certainly didn't want to wait around on
beaches, watching a bird carry stuff over the ocean every century! I
assumed life just dragging on like that would be impossibly boring and
tedious, that we'd all be reduced to mindless drones going about our
endless daily lives.
Of course, things would eventually change for me.
Fast
forward a few decades, and here I am studying the Bible with a young
person of my own. Although he isn't my fleshly son, I've known him for
most of his life and seen him grow up. And oddly enough, despite not
being related by blood, I see so much of myself in him.
It's
funny how young ones can develop sudden thought patterns that appear to
come from nowhere. Things once accepted as facts are now picked apart
skeptically. Pastimes once enjoyed are now avoided obdurately. Tastes
and hobbies and fashions change.
But if I've learned one thing from my own parents, it's to be patient, understanding, and accommodating as possible.
Forever still kind of scares. The concept at least. Sometimes ill lay bed at night in the dark, go into my head and just think about time and life and the earth going on forever and ever and ever and never ever ending still freaks me out
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